Money is Just Money // My Two Cents

I hate money and the emotional stress surrounding it.
I say this with tears in my eyes, as I've just been having a 15-minute pity party with myself. All of this happened because I came home to a note on my door with rent renewal rates.

Obviously I had anticipated a price increase, though I hadn't known when to expect it. I think part of me actually believed it wouldn't increase because I am such a star tenant.

Who was I kidding? Myself, obviously. So after the initial reaction of name-calling my property management crooks, I proceeded to do some quick math and the panic set in.

I'm still teary-eyed as I type this because I hate that I have allowed money to dictate my happiness. Money doesn't decide whether or not I am happy, I wake up each morning and consciously decide how I want to feel.

Then why do I feel like a pile of doggy doo doo?
Because my issues with money are deeper than a minor spike in rent. I am fully aware I spend too much money on unnecessary items—namely clothing, shoes, and accessories. But I continue to do so because: I feel deserving; I have a passion for fashion; I like a good deal; I want to look nice; I like variety; shopping cures boredom; it gets me out of the house/off the couch. The list goes on.

This all leads to another financial issue: saving, or lack thereof.
Despite having a paying job and minimal debt, I feel as though I am barely breaking even. I thought job stability was supposed to co-exist with financial security.

My dad would step in now and bring up my 401-k. Yes, I am beyond grateful that some of my hard-earned cash is accumulating value somewhere in the mystical land of investing. I guess because I'm not seeing this money physically grow (oh, how I'd like to hold a nice wad of cash), it feels too distant to be valuable. However, I think it's better that way. Let it live in lala land until it's reached it's earning potential. (Maybe I need a quick trip to lala land myself.)

Back on Point
I think it's on me to stand up to my financial stress and start putting my foot down on unnecessary purchases. It's going to be hard and it's going to be scary and sacrifices will have to be made.

But this cyclical spend, realize, panic (and stress which inevitably leads to spending...) process is clearly not working. I don't want to rely on my parents, I definitely don't want added stress, and to be honest I've wasted too many damn tears on money.

Money is just money. It's cloth we give value. It's necessary evil. There are people who live full, happy lives with much less. My challenge to myself is to channel their happiness. To get creative. To never let my self-worth elicit self-doubt or self-destruction.

Money is just money. Happiness is free.

QuestBar Protein Bars // My Two Cents

A friend of mine posted a picture of a Quest Bar on Instagram a few weeks ago. I had heard about this nutrition bar everyone was raving about, but hadn't ever seen them in the grocery store. I noticed the wrapper said the bar contained only 1 gram of sugar, so I left a comment on her post: Only 1g of sugar? Are these worth the hype?

A few minutes later she sent me a picture message with the nutrition label. I have to admit, I was fairly impressed. Low in sugar, high in fiber, packed with protein, and apparently pretty tasty. 

I finally tracked down these magical bars in the health section at a local Hy Vee. And despite the hefty price tag ($2.25/bar), I bought 5—and got a sixth one fo' free ( holla! ). Of course I wanted to peel one open after spending a small fortune, but these felt like they needed to be saved for a proper occasion. So one Saturday I packed one in my purse to refuel with after my morning boot camp while I run my post-workout errands. Verdict?

Tasty. Satisfying. Sustainable energy. 

So far, I'm fairly happy I splurged. The texture wasn't my fave at first, but I'm learning to like it. In fact, I actually prefer the bars after they've been sitting in my purse for a while so they get a little soft and mushy. Is that TMI and/or totally weird? Probs. 

Anyway I've liked every flavor thus far ( especially white chocolate raspberry ), though the chocolate brownie was by far my least favorite. I mean, if I'm going to have a brownie I want it warm and gooey, straight for the oven. 

These have definitely replaced my sugar-filled Cliff bars, because no one really needs that much added sugar unless they're training for a marathon or on a serious hike or adventurous endeavor. 

And let's face it, I work out so I can indulge in a warm, gooey brownie every now and then. 

My Two Cents // Emmys

Did y'all watch the 65th Emmys last night?

Though I am typically more concerned with the Red Carpet than the actual awards, I tuned into the entire program ( until the second-to-last episode of Breaking Bad aired at 8 ) because I actually followed a few of the nominated shows close enough to care. ( Such as Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Orange is the New Black, House of Cards, and Big Bang Theory. )

Needless to say, I was ecstatic for the cast and crew of Breaking Bad for taking home the award for best drama. It was also clear I need to start watching some shows that continuously receive nominations ( Modern Family, anyone? ) and some new shows ( like that Top of the Lake series? ) that seem to have been well-received.

Style-wise, I was not blown away. However, there were a few key looks that deserved a nod.

First up, Rose Byrne. She looked absolutely stunning in Calvin Klein and made old Hollywood glamour look modern with the minimalistic gown and metallic clutch. And that hair. Oh, that hair.

Kate Mara has scarred me for life after first seeing her act in the terribly scary American Horror Story series. When she popped again in House of Cards, I couldn't shake her role as a psycho mistress, but I'm learning to like her as a manipulative journalist. In my opinion, she had one of the most dramatic and stylish looks of the evening in her all-white-everything J. Mendel ensemble. Head-to-toe chic.

Little Kiernan Shipka, better known as not-so-little-anymore Sally Draper, was perhaps the chicest 13-year-old to ever hit the Red Carpet. Her Del Pozo gown was fun, fashion forward, and age appropriate. Her sleek pony and light makeup topped the look off. She'll definitely be one to follow as her career continues to expand.

Lastly, Allison Williams looked all-around gorgeous from her cobalt blue Ralph Lauren gown to her gold cuffs to her simple waves. She's got that whole "effortlessly chic" bit down to a science.

My Two Cents // Rolling Stone

Let's talk about this.

I first heard about this controversial cover scrolling through my Twitter feed a couple of mornings ago. I'll be honest. When I clicked on the link to view an image, my first thought was that this was a Jonas brother doing a cover shoot with a 70s vibe. What's wrong with this, I asked myself, groggy-eyed. 

I couldn't help but to wonder what it was that was making people so upset, so I did a little digging to see what it was about this ( preview ) cover that was causing so much outrage. 

What I found was that subscribers, Bostonians, and the general public alike were outraged by the fact that Rolling Stone was glorifying a monster. Magazine covers are typically reserved for celebrities and public figures, not terrorists. Plastering Tsarnaev's face across a well-known and respected publication is seen as an endorsement of terrorism, say those who find the cover extremely disturbing. 

However, I was scrolling through Facebook ( of all places ) this morning, and one of my journalism friends actually shared something worth reading: this article on Slate.

This short counterpoint, citing the RS cover as 'brilliant,' makes a valid point explaining that the 'dreamy' cover image of Tsarnaev is getting criticized because of its truth. Tsarnaev was a decent looking guy. He was young. He had a following of young women. Basically, he looked like a normal guy. Not a monster. Not a creeper. Just a guy. A guy who was crazed and mad and partook in something awful. Something that unfortunately cannot be taken back.

But what we can learn from the controversy surrounding this cover is that crazed madness does not discriminate. It can brew inside all of us. It can strike at any moment. If we continue to sugar coat what we think violence should look like, we will continue to be naive when violence occurs. 

So that's my two cents. What's yours?