On Comparison

Yesterday I stepped on the scale for the first time in several weeks. After dropping my gym membership and over-indulging the past two months (rightfully so, I may add), I figured it was time to check in.

I don’t own a scale, but occasionally hop on them time to time in random peoples’ houses or at the gym. Personally, I find checking in with myself more beneficial than any number on the scale. How am I feeling? Do my clothes feel more snug than usual? Am I struggling up a few flights of stairs? These are more compelling to me.

But because I’m a vain, curious human, I stepped on the scale. Surprisingly, it hadn’t budged much.

Just as I was taking in the numbers, a woman stepped on another scale beside me, and any sort of self-confidence I felt a moment ago was quickly replaced by the anxiety of having to step off the scale immediately so this much thinner, more fit woman (in my mind) would not see my very personal numbers (which would make me look like a whale compared to hers).

I’m not sure if she saw my weight, but I definitely saw hers. It was the same as mine. Down to the decimal.

I wish I could articulate how I felt at that moment. The moment of realization that how I see myself may be skewed. That maybe I don’t give myself enough credit.

This is the problem with comparing yourself to others. You will always lose. In any situation. Comparison is the thief of so much joy, and I wish there was a way to eliminate it from our existence. Imagine how much more interesting our world would be if we weren’t always trying to be someone or something we’re not. Imagine all that wonderful weirdness.

I’m sharing this because I thought I had a pretty good handle on positive thinking, but yesterday’s experience proved just how easy it is to slip into a negative state of mind. Plus, my perception was not in line with the reality. Kind of like Instagram–no one's life is as perfect as their (curated, styled, and edited) images make it seem.

I should care about being the best version of myself, and comparing myself to others sure as hell won't get me there.

Let’s just be who we are.

_____
BRB, scrolling through Instagram and being extremely envious of everyone else’s life. #StoryOfMyLife #CantEscapeIt